Swearing, what is it good for? Absolutley noting.

We all know people who do it. They like to use swear words to think they are making their point more clearly. Comedians use swear words to get a bigger laugh. My wife will use them if she hears something that she does not agree with. Like a news story. Her favorite thing to say is, "that's B S" she uses the whole word. I often tell her that saying B S is not a very intelligent way of disagreeing with something. It is funny to hear someone's response when they are told this. My wife likes to say that she can swear if she wants. True, she's an adult and can use foul language if she chooses but should she. Just because one can say something does not mean one should. She and others who use that kind of language will say, "freedom of speech." Again, true however with freedom of speech comes another word, It is called responsibility. Just because you can say something does not mean you should. Also, if saying B S is the only way you have to disagree with a subject than your not showing yourself to be very intelligent. If all you can say to argue a point is that's BS or whatever foul language you chose all you are dong is proving that you don't have much to say. It is funny to see how defensive my wife gets when I call her on her occasional use of foul language. She'll say, yah so I swore I'm an adult. big deal. Well, yes it is a big deal. If you want someone to take your opinions seriously say what you have to say in an intelligent manor. If you disagree with something say why you disagree in words adults would use. Here's another argument I love to hear form people who use foul language. "Everyone talks that way." Two problems with this line of thinking. Fist, an everyone argument is a false argument because it is a generalized statement. Second, I don't sear, our friends Ron and Sandy Don't swear, my father in law does not swear, so an everyone is doing it argument is irrelevant and one I thought most people stopped using when they grew out of the teenage years. If your really an adult you should be able to express your opinions in an adult manor without using foul language. Just because you can do it does not mean you should. And don't try and use the first amendment to defend your use of foul language. That is a false argument. There is no appropriate time to use that kind of language. My wife claims she likes some of the Sirius channels because they play the un cut versions of songs. My question to her is does the language add anything of value to the song. If someone uses the word Bitch in a song does it make the song more enjoyable, The answer is no and if you have to swear in a song to get attention, Then your not saying much. My wife will say she likes Marilyn Manson because he creates controversy. I'll agree with that. He can be quite colorful. But what musically has he done to get attention. Who are we still going to be talking about in fifty years. The music of the Rolling Stones, or the foul mouth of Marilyn Manson. I think that is a pretty easy question to answer. The language you use says a lot about you as a person. So if you want to know what the big deal is about you swearing, It is one way people judge your intelligence. My dad is another one who would swear up a blue streak when he was in a bad mood. The funny part is he would always say, "Don't listen to someone who swears because someone who uses that kind of language is not worth listening to." Then when he'd be yelling at you what would he be doing, swearing every name in the book and then wondered whey we didn't listen. He was the person who told us not to listen to someone who swears and then he can't figure that one out? We were only doing what we were told to do which was not listen to someone who swore. Most comedians who swear don't really need to. George Carlin and Dennis Leary are two that come to mind. They are just as funny if not more if they don't use the four letter words. And for those who have to use that kind of language as the only way to get a laugh, your not that funny. I've heard my wife say, "so and so would not be funny if he or she did not use that language." My response is I guess they don't have much to say than do they if they have to use four letter words just to get a laugh. Another false argument I hear about swearing from my wife and others. they think that swearing helps relieve stress. She works in consumer service, so she knows about stress

She'll tell me a story about some of the people who call and sometimes she'll swear and other times she wont. She says swearing makes her feel better

No it does not. I notice that when she swears it actually puts her in a worse mood. If she just tells the story without the swear words not only is it funnier it actually seems to calm her down quicker and put her in a better mood. There really is no need for that kind of language. All it does is make people question your intelligence. You would think people would be able to disagree with an opinion or a news story by saying something a little more intelligent than BS

respect should be earnd no matter who you are

I was thinking about the subject of respect the other day and that it should be earned no matter who you are. Even if you're a parent, your kids are not going to respect you if you say one thing and do something different. My family is a good example of this. I have always had more respect for what my dad says and a very difficult time respecting much of what my mom had to say. One reason for this. My dad was consistent with punnnishment and he knew how to apologize when he was wrong. My mom on the other hand was so wishy washy with enforcing a punishment that it was impossible to take her seriously. Also, she had this bad habit of accusing me of things I did not do. I recall where that all started. We were at a family gathering at my Aunt and Uncles farm. Us kids were playing in the hay loft. I must have been about nine. One of my cousins said that I had hit her. So I was yelled at for it. My other cousins in the hay loft went to my defense and said I was not even near her. Which I was not. She wasn't even in the hey loft with us. My mom actually got mad at me and said I should have just taken the blame for it to avoid problems and acted like it was my fault for getting my cousin in trouble when she in fact lied to get me in trouble. All through out my teenage years she continued this trend of, "well if something goes wrong I must have done it. I was yelled at several times for leaving water on the bathroom sink when infact it turned out each time the sink was leaking. I recall one of these instances when I came back from my first year away at school she was insitant that I must have spilled water on the sink and I had just better learn to admit it. She was again to dumb to realize that the water was flowing behind the faucet and flowing down the side of the vanity. Any intelligent person could tell the sink was leaking except my mother who apparently was not smart enough to recognize the obvious. She went on and on about how there has been know respect for her since day one. Well, you guessed it. The sink was indeed leaking. And she wondered whey I had a hard time respecting her. Also when I would prove my self right, instead of apologizing like an adult would she would get all defensive and throw a temper tantrum like a two year old. Same if you confronted her on something. Instead of admitting it she would go in to temper tantrum mode. Her way of asking me to do something was to scream at the top of her lungs. I would simply point out to her that she would get a better response if she just asked nicely. Then she would really flip out. She would ask me a question about why something happened and then never listen to the answer. because in her mind I was guilty of whatever despite the evidence to prove my self right. I recall one instance when I was asked why a curtain had fallen on the floor and explained that it was my youngest sisters fault. Which was the truth. My mom got mad and said, "why is it always (insert sisters name hear, fault) my response was because it is the truth. I then got in trouble for lying even though I was right. Don't bother with the fact that there was a whiteness in the room who could prove me right. That is the funniest part. Over 90% of the time all my mother had to do was ask the whiteness what happened but apparently that simple idea just managed to escape her. Also, she had a bad habit of doing everything for me. Being blind I used to run in to this problem quite a bit with her. She would do everything for me and then be to dumb to understand why I didn't do anything except sit in my room all day. I would even tell her this and her only response was, "if you can do you stereo stuff you can do other things too". Not realizing that she had just agreed with me. I would respond with, "Heck I'm surprised you don't try and take that over too". I would then repeat that if she would stop doing everything for me than I would do things for my self. But for some reason even me telling her this never quite got it through her head. I also think by doing this she encouraged my sisters to not treat me very well. They could say what ever they wanted to me but if I responded to defend my self I was made to look like a bad person for picking on the little angels of the family. I'll admit I did not talk to my youngest sister in the best manor. I was not a very patient big brother. and If she would screw up I could be rather insulting. The reason for this is that is how my dad talked to me when I was much younger. I was called worthless, stupid, told that he had never seen someone so helpless as me. etc. So, as cycles will go I started treating my youngest sister the same way. The funny thing is my parents were to dumb to realize even when I would tell them that the reason I talk to her that way is because you talked to me that same way. Again, went in one of my moms ears and out the other. Mom had a habit of being rather insulting and after I turned 18 I started telling her exactly what I thought of how she was talking to me.

My mother was also obsessed with how long I took in the shower. For some reason she would have a fit if I took a shower that lasted for more than five minutes. I mean she would literally throw a fit and threaten to turn the water off on me. Another empty threat witch she was too dumb to realize that I did not take seriously and I told her on many occasions that how long I spend in the shower is none of her business and I would not be taking shorter ones. I did not take showers that were any longer than anyone elces but for some reason I was picked on for it. My feeling is that anyone that concerned about the length of someone's shower has a few problems they need to work on. I also found it interesting that in 1995 when I went on vacation with my parents and sisters that I was being picked on by my mother for drinking too much pop. Again, I was not drinking any more or any less than anyone else but for some reason she insisted on being my personal pop police. Until she was finally told in no uncertain terms by me that I was not drinking any more or less than anyone else so she had better complain about everyone or keep her mouth shut about it. She of course went off in to some fit about lack of respect and how I should just listen and not say anything. That was her usual comment when confronted with evidence that she might be wrong. She would also blame me for fogging up the windows in the car when going somewhere in cold weather. She couldn't comprehend the fact that it was the vents were not properly adjusted. her feeling was since I was in the car and the windows were fogging up it must therefore be me. I had tried to tell her this on many trips but she would just get mad and say, "will you quit arguing with me." Again not smart enough to realize it takes two people to argue and of course I was going to argue when I'm right. My sister and I have tried to explain to my mother for the past twenty years that I am not the cause of the windows fogging up but for some reason she still insists that it must be me because it never happens when anyone else is in the car. Talk about selective memory. As far as she was concerned if she thought you did something than you must have done it despite what the facts might say. I could go on and on but basically you get the idea that it was very hard to have respect for much of what she had to say and for some reason she could never figure this out on her own.

My dad had apologized a long time ago for the way he used to talk to me but as far as I know My mother probably still doesn't think she did anything wrong. You could not do a job fast enough for her. She once told me I moved as slow as an old man, so I told her she bitched like an old woman and if I was not moving fast enough for her she could get her rear over hear and do it her self. She also used to complain about the order in which I gathered the garbage together to take it outside. As long as it all gets out who cares where you start. I would point this out to her and again it would become temper tantrum time. She would go on about how no one respects her. Gee I wonder why that would be. I also recall getting my head ripped off for asking what time we were leaving for a science fair program. We had just finished a disagreement on what collar a stand in the dining room was, yep dumb argument but not as dumb as what happened next. I started to put the cameras in the stand. and began to ask what time we were leaving. My mother than at the top of there lungs and in a very condescending way says, "COULD YOU JUST PUT THEM AWAY AND LEAN TO KEEP YOU MOUTH SHUT". and was told how I like to go on about things all the time. I asked what that was supposed to mean and my sister says, "That's what it means," I said that mad no sense what so ever. My mother then pipes in and I interrupt and tell her this is between my sister and I it does not concern you so but out. Then she goes off on how I should not talk to her that way when it is her who ripped my head off for asking what time we were leaving for my youngest sisters science fair. Talk about stupid. You know if she would just have closed her mouth and opened her ears for once she would have realized how dumb she sounded of ripping someone's head off for asking what time we were leaving for a science fair. She would even try and tell me what I should talk on the phone with my girlfriend at the time about. She would even say, do you have to talk about the news on the phone with her so much. Why can't you talk about something else. Not realizing it was none of her business what I talked on the phone with friends about. Speaking of phones here's one of the dumbest things that comes to mind. I recall my girlfriend at the time was going to call me. My mother told me I could not spend more than ten minutes on the phone. For what reason she would not say and my girlfriend was calling me. My mother even tried to say that, "If your not off in ten minutes I'm hanging up the phone and if she calls back your not going to answer." I told her it is none of her business how long I spend on the phone when someone called me and she would not do that and my dad would be finding out if she even tried it. Guess what, ten minutes passed and my mother did not do a damn thing. Also, I used to get accused of lying. Much of that was because when I was younger my dad would ask why I did something like hit my sister. I'd give the reason. He'd say, "that reason is not good enough". So I started making up reasons that I thought they wanted to hear. So I would then get in trouble for lying. They wanted to know why I used to lie well, it should not have been that hard for them to figure out. I though they wanted to be told what they wanted to hear since the real reasons apparently were not good enough. After a while I just told the truth and if they believed it fine. If not no big deal. Again my dad as long since apologized but my mom has not yet. I'm not holding my breath for her to do it either. She would even go as far as to tell me what I should talk about at family gatherings. She would say something like, "do you have to talk about the radio station so much, can't you talk about something else." Again, who did she think she was. I got the impression that she was embarrassed by my career choice. Again, who I tell what is my business not hers. She just had a hard time understanding this concept. For some reason she thought she could tell me what I should be saying and when. She did not like it when she was told otherwise. She was also the queen of guilt trips and empty threats. Now guilt trips have not worked on me sense I was about twelve. My mom kept trying to use them on me in to my early twenties. Don't you think she would have realized that they did not work before I had to tell her they no longer worked. She even accused me of not having respect for her because I could not be guilt tripped. I obviously did not take that seriously. Empty threats never worked on my either. She threatened to take my high school graduation present back because I did not go to church one Sunday morning. I pretty much told her that I knew that was an empty threat and would not be taken seriously. Sure enough it was. That's also a good way to make someone not go to church. Threaten them if they don't go. That's good parenting.

Now my dad never used empty threats. If he threatened a punishment you could be garmented it would be carried out the next time you screwed up. If he said the next time you hit your sister your getting a crack across the behind that is exactly what happened. The man knew how to get respect from us. Does not mean he was always right. he's admitted this and apologized for different things but you knew if he said you were going to be punished next time you knew that if you did it again you were going to remember it. To conclude. Nobody is going to give you unconditional respect. It has to be earned even from your kids. The way to do that is by being consistent and listening and not jumping to conclusions. And not making false accusations and admitting your wrong when you are.

Saying Happy Holidays is not an insult to Christains

There are a number of people, mainly religious conservatives who would like you to believe that saying happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas is somehow tying to take Christ out of Christmas. Stores like Target have asked their employees to wish shoppers Happy Holidays instead of a Merry Christmas. Some are saying that this is another example of liberals trying to eliminate the true meaning of Christmas. It is not just stores doing this. Some communities now have holiday celebrations instead of Christmas celebrations. and some are offended by this because in their mind it is an insult. How dare someone try to use such a generic term to describe the day that their lord was born. Just read any open forum section of a local paper this time of year and the religious conservatives are up in arms about this. What many of them fail to realize is that quite a few religious celebrations happen around the time that Christians celebrate Christmas. Hanukkah, sorry about the spelling begins on December twenty fifth. and there are others as well. Think about it this way. Saying happy holidays is an all encompassing term. it is not meant as an insult. Most stores and community events organizers understand that not everyone who is shopping or attending a community event is celebrating Christmas. Many are celebrating other religious holidays and some aren't celebrating anything. Truly Christian Christmas events are not being changed at all. You don't have to worry about a local official telling your church you cannot call you program a Christmas program. However I can see why a local school would call their program a holiday program. Not all kids in school are Christian. They should not be made to feel like outcasts just because they celebrate a different holiday. I get the impression that many Christians think they own December. Well, guess what, you don't. There are other religions in the world and they have as much right to be recognized during this time of year as Christmas does. So to include everyone it is called the Holiday season. It is not meant to be insulting to Christians. So from a Christian to all other chrysalis and those of other religions have a happy Holiday season.