seven years

Seven years ago today was a great day. I married a wonderful woman. We had a beautiful ceremony and the weather was very nice. Upper seventies witch is pretty good for July and much better than the weather we've been having. The temperature reached 104 yesterday. Anyway back to reminiscing about my wedding day. The service went off perfectly. Nobody fainted. I did have a few too many drinks thanks to my brother in law and one of my cousins. Let's put it this way, by the end of the reception I had the garter on my head. Also being visually impaired, I thought it would be funny when going for the garter to pretend I could not see where it was. I thought it was funny and my bride was trying to beat on my head telling me to come up for air. So what have I learned in the last seven years about my wife. Well, what can I tell you without getting in to trouble. I'm one of those husbands that actually thinks when my wife asks me a question she must want an honest answer or at least a smart allec one. I pride myself in being a complete smart ass. She once asked me how I could stand to watch the "Three Stooges" on TV. My response, "I'm not standing, I'm sitting down". Or she'll ask me " what on earth am I watching?" I'll tell her,"This device is called TV. for over fifty years they have shown visual programming that is called TV shows for people that would be you and me to enjoy visually." Trust me, she was used to those comments long before we were married witch is why I'm surprised she does not phrase her questions more carefully. Luckily my wife is not one of those women who care what position the toilet seat is located. It amazes me that some women throw a fit like a child when their man does not put it down for them. My feeling is that your a big girl you can put it down yourself. I don't expect you to put it up for me so don't expect me to put it down for you. It is very simple. ask your husband to show you how to do it. If your afraid of falling in when it is night and the lights are off, take the two seconds it takes to turn around and see if you need to lower it or not. It amazes me the number of woman that complain about something that dumb. Also the whole witch way the toothpaste tube should be squeezed. My mother used to make a big deal about this one. We were finally able to get her to shut up about it by simple ignoring her complaints about it. So guys if you want your wife to stop complaining about something dumb, just ignore her she will eventually give up. The only silly thing my wife ever complained about was the toilet paper being on the roll the wrong direction. My solution, I just set the new one on the sink and let her put it on. That solved the argument on that subject. And thankfully she does not watch Lifetime television. I've never understood how any intelligent female can watch that garbage. Here's every Lifetime move summarized in a few lines. Woman meets nice guy, friends try to warn woman about nice guy. they claim he's psycho. at first woman does not listen to friends until it is almost too late at witch point she barely escapes death and spends rest of movie trying to elude psycho and finally new boyfriend almost gets killed by psycho ex and ends up killing him and new boyfriend and woman start to have sex as the credits roll. No need to ever watch Lifetime again. That's how all the movies go.

until next time

have a good day.

Zman